My life as I know it

I usually turn off the TV after the 10:30 episode of the Wonder Years comes to an end but for some reason tonight I decided to watch the news. Big mistake. A teenage boy was shot four times in a parking lot where I grocery shop. The Cleveland news has an entirely different impact on me here than it did when I would watch it at home. I used to be able to brush things off thinking it doesn't effect me but now that I live here, it's not just another shooting to me. It's a reality of the new world I live in; one that I'm not quite comfortable with. This is "only" one of two shootings that I know of in Lakewood in the last few months. I hesitate to say only because two shootings is still two too many if you ask me. Of course it's a much smaller number than Cleveland shootings but that isn't really comforting to me. Pat assures me that both of the recent shootings were isolated incidents, domestic disputes or personal grudges. That doesn't really comfort...

For those of you from the very large population of people who hate cats, please don't bother reading any further. I've had about all of the negative feedback regarding the new addition to my family that I can stomach. When the day comes that I feel minorities and homosexuals are being treated equally, you better watch out because my next activism movement is going to be: All pets are created equal. You don't have to be a cat person to appreciate the important role they play in other people's lives. Before I get carried away ranting and raving about the negative attitudes in this society toward cats, let me focus on the real issue at hand. I for one, am a cat lover. I'm a firm believer that like dogs, cats too can provide companionship. Yes, each play a different role in our lives, but in my mind there is no hierarchy of pets. One of the things I missed most during my college days was my ability to be around my pets. Now that I'm living by myself in an apartment...

Let me start by saying, if you relied on the television show "Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader" to indicate whether or not our school systems are successfully teaching our youth, you might be misled into believing they are and that No Child Left Behind actually worked! I give them credit, these kids are smart! But I am a bit cynical when watching the show. First of all, I think they picked the most elite of all 5th graders known to man. They are all probably students from the gifted and talented programs who have tested out of grades 5-12. Most of them are probably receiving college credit already. I will admit, I may be a little bitter because these kids continue to outsmart me week after week. However, I believe knowledge is somewhat like a vacation day at work. You either use it or you lose it. There comes a time in your life when nothing, absolutely nothing requires you to know where the first Inca civilization was located or the name of the ship that brought the pilgri...

On my way to work this morning, the DJ's on Q104 (my new favorite radio station in my new home) were asking their Cleveland listeners to call in and tell them something they miss from their hometowns. I found the topic somewhat ironic as I am spending my first week in my new apartment in my new city. As listeners were explaining trivial things they miss such as candy and pizza, I started thinking about really important things that I miss about my previous home: 1. Roommates: I never thought I'd be saying this since I was so eager to get out there and be on my own but I really do miss having roommates. I've spent the past 24 years with roommates and I really took it for granted. I felt so much safer knowing someone else was in the house or apartment and it was nice to have someone to talk to. 2. Knowing my way around: It's hard for me to remember what it was like in Bowling Green before I knew my way around. It's been a period of adjustment for me lately in my new c...

As I continue this elongated process of job searching (oh yeah, I forgot to mention that the hell I call grad school is officially behind me and I've now moved on to a new kind of hell - job searching) I came across this quote: "Applying for a job is like running a marathon. Don't stop until the race is over. The best runners are often the ones that persevere until the end." Well, as many of you may know, I absolutely hate running. There is no way I could ever complete a marathon and I definitely wouldn't persevere until the end. It's no wonder then why I'm not persevering in this whole job hunting business either. My grand total is now up to 29. That's right. I have applied for 29 different job positions. So far I've received five rejections, two postcards confirming my resume was received, and two interviews (one of which I haven't heard a word back). As August is quickly approaching and the end of my lease in Bowling Green is staring me in...

I just got done watching the movie United93 and I'm not going to lie, it really freaked me out. I expected it to make me cry, which it didn't, but not to scare me, which it did. Don't get me wrong, I knew what happened and unfortunately I knew how the story would end. I guess seeing it reenacted took me back to that day and made me feel scared and uncertain like I did in 2001 when it happened. It's sad to say but I don't feel any safer in our country today than I did 6 years ago. I know that technically I should feel safer, but I don't. I never want this blog to turn political but Osama Bin Laden is still out there and even when/if he's not, there are many more people just like him who hate us and are probably plotting against us as well. This movie showed how relatively easy it was for these men to hijack the plane and really got me thinking about what the future might hold as far as terrorists attacks go. What else could people get away with? Don't min...

Y es, it's true. I can finally see the light. No, not that light. Not the light you see right before you die. Although I swear I've seen that light many times this semester too and I answered it by saying, please. Be my guest. Take me. No, I'm kidding. I'm talking about the light at the end of the tunnel. As far as educational tunnels go, this has definitely been the longest one I've ever been through. It's a funny thing about this post because I actually started to write it a week ago when I thought I could see the light. Seems I was mistaken because I got very overwhelmed again and just like that the light was gone. So I waited until I could really say, I do see the light. And finally, I can say I do. And boy does it look nice! Don't get me wrong. My work isn't done. I'm finishing up the last few pages of my 25 page paper, I have 2 exams next week, still need to grade my students' last speech and will have to grade their final exams next week a...

Mark got another MRI today and the doctor reported "no brain activity." Normally, one would think this is a bad thing. Shouldn't a brain be doing SOMETHING?!?! However, in the world of cancer and brain tumors, no brain activity is a very good thing. It means there are no new brain tumors since his last MRI. As far as the activity in Mark's brain... of course he's having activity up there. He's looking at the kitchen counter wondering what clutter he can get rid of and who's full can of pop he can throw away. :) But that's the kind of brain activity we have come to accept from Mark and maybe, maybe even find humorous at times. When Mark tried to get answers about the "big picture" of this "clean" MRI, the doctor simply explained to him this scan isn't any indication as to what the next scans might reveal. Mark, and the rest of us, will have to continue living scan to scan . Good news one day, maybe bad news the next. For right n...

Uh oh, you're thinking. The title of this blog sounds pretty deep and philosophical. Some of you may be enticed by the thought of me writing about such deep matters rather than my usual trivial nonsense. Others may have stopped reading immediately after seeing the title. That's okay. I don't blame you. Emily and philosophy is a scary combination, like Britney Spears and hair clippers. But yes, I am feeling deep and philosophical so be warned. It's a rare occasion, but this time I'm writing for me. No jokes, no sarcasm. Just me and my raw thoughts. They're thoughts I need to get off my chest or else they will just keep lingering in my brain and my brain can't handle many lingering thoughts these days. Being the pessimist that I am, hope is never something I've struggled with because it's never really existed to me. The very reason I struggle with religion is my inability to be hopeful and believe in things that I don't have hardcore evidence to be...

This picture was taken of me tonight after I took my huge exam (that I'm pretty sure I bombed - not literally - I don't do bombs, just guns and yellow high heels). Now that I've calmed down a bit, I feel kind of bad for shooting the computer because I know that it wasn't the real source of my frustration. I displaced my anger. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I've heard the saying "misery loves company" many times throughout my life and I've met many people who have demonstrated this concept quite clearly. It wasn't until recently, however, that I actually became one of those people who, intentionally or not, bring other people down just because they are down. And since I'm down now, and "misery loves company," I figured why not try to bring you down too? :) I wanted to start this evening by talking about right and left hand turns. Now before I go any further, I want to give you a moment to go back in time to driver's ed. For...

1. Where were you 1 hour ago? Sitting in this exact same spot on my bed, writing note cards 2. Who will get your next kiss? Probably my nephew Max when I babysit on Thursday 3. When is the last time you went to the mall? Just so happens I spent two days at the Mall of America in Minnesota last Thursday and Friday 4. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes, but they will definitely come off before bed 5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Last week (Minnesota) and two weeks before that (Paris) but it usually is a rare occasion 6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Nope 7. What was the last thing you had to drink? I'm drinking Diet Dr. Pepper right now to keep me up all night 8. What are you wearing right now? Big T-shirt that says "I hear voices and they don't like you" - classy I know - and fleece pajama pants. 9. What was your last purchase? Clothes as the Mall of America 10. Last food you ate? Just had a brownie and dried banana chips 11. Wh...

HELP! I've fallen into a rut and I can't get out! I'm not sure what has happened to me over the past month but I've become extremely unmotivated. It's probably the hardest semester of my life and the worst time for me to feel this way but I guess we don't choose our ruts now do we? Maybe it's the fact that I've been in school for the past 20 or so years. Maybe it's the fact that I'm so close to being finished. Maybe it's because I'm so overwhelmed by the semester that I've just given up. Whatever the reason, I have to do something about it because quitting or failing is not an option for me. On that note, I'm hoping that my trip in a little over a week will be just what I need to rejuvenate me. March 7 through the 17 I will be in Paris, France with a class from school. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am so excited! As you can probably tell, the Eiffel Tower is the sight I'm most excited to see. I don't think i...

Change is such a strange thing. In some instances, it can bring great excitement and thrill to life's monotony . In other cases, it adds to life's uncertainties and hardships. So much has changed, both good and bad, since I've last written. I'm not sure what type of person you are, but personally I like to start with the bad news and then end on a positive note and since this is my blog that's exactly what I'm going to do. Mark's most recent MRI found another brain tumor. I learned at a very young age how unfair life is, but yet it never ceases to amaze me. I hate to sound like such a pessimist but I get so angry when I think about all of the rotten people in this world who don't know what suffering even feels like. Yet this man who has been putting everyone else before himself since I've known him has endured more pain and suffering than even the rotten people deserve. I know that even trying to rationalize this does no good whatsoever and is just...

Do you smell that? It smells really nice doesn't it? If you're wondering what that wonderful scent is, it's a new fragrance called VICTORY. As usual, I counted on Google images to help me illustrate my feeling of victory (refer to the picture to your left). You may have guessed by now that I beat Pat in our 2006-2007 college football bowl game bet. I'm not sure how many of you are football fans, but for those of you who witnessed the intense game between Boise St. and Oklahoma, it is the game that determined my winning fate. Although the bowl games are not over, Pat can no longer beat me so the competition is over for us. I know this must be very disheartening for Pat. And for .2 seconds, I did feel bad for him. The look of defeat in his eyes was a little upsetting. I have to admit, the victory is a little bitter sweet for me as well. Of course winning is wonderful and that is the sweet part. Getting my room cleaned and organized is going to be really nice as well. Howe...