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Showing posts from October, 2005

Out With the Old, In With the New

I know it's probably best to just let this go and not rehash the past, but there are a few things I need to say before I can move on. Originally I wanted to make this entry a heartfelt goodbye. Even though the end of our relationship has been unpleasant, to say the least, I wanted to look back on our relationship and focus on the good things. Then it hit me: there were no good times. Only what I thought were good times because I had nothing else to compare you to. You filled a void until something better came along, and I thank you for that. I guess having you was better than having nothing at all, but I knew you weren't "the one." I was always shopping - looking for something better, knowing that when I found it I would kick you to the curb faster than you can say virus. Speaking of viruses, after all of those times you came home with your different viruses, I never questioned where you had been or what you had been doing. I figured it was normal and that everyone wa

Rainy Days and Mondays...

"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down..." As my roommate Lisa pointed out, today was a rainy day and a Monday, making it a double negative. She went on and made her little saying into a riddle/song, but I will spare you the details. You're welcome. A rainy day in Bowling Green isn't just your average rainy day. You can almost always expect it to be freezing cold and very windy. My favorite part of walking to class in the rain is watching people try to keep their umbrellas from getting caught in the mighty wind and flipping inside out. I'm not being mean or getting enjoyment out of other people's misery (well, maybe a little) because it has happened to me too, on more than one occasion. I have had many umbrellas destroyed thanks to the winds of Bowling Green. But let's be honest here. There are some good things that can come from having your umbrella ruined. The large selection of umbrellas on the market today are indescribable. It's like Hallow

Worrying is Like Being in a Rocking Chair...

"Worrying is like being in a rocking chair. It occupies your time, but doesn't get you anywhere." Yet, so many of us spend much of our lives doing it anyway. Why? We aren't all just a bunch of idiots (well, there are some exceptions...) who honestly think that if we worry about something, it won't happen. The reality is, worrying is not only a huge waste of time, but it's a waste of time that could be spent happily. We've all heard the corny saying about every minute spent frowning is 60 seconds of happiness wasted (no shit Sherlock, even I can do that math equation), but seriously... it's kind of true. In the large scheme of things, it's usually the things we least expect, the things we would never have even thought to worry about, that come out of nowhere and knock us on our ass. Let's take for example, the poor lady from the illustration who we will call Mildred. Mildred is so busy worrying about whether or not she put on deodorant, that on

Ode to My Camera

First I would like to apologize for the way our relationship came to a sudden end. It could have been a really traumatic experience for you. Maybe I dropped you and you broke into many pieces. Maybe I just sat you somewhere and you had to watch me walk away and never come back. Perhaps someone took you right out of my purse. The most disturbing part of this whole situation, is that I simply don't remember how I lost you. After all you've done for me by capturing my memories for the past 3 months, I should have at least had the decency to not involve you in my drunken affairs. And for that, I'm truly sorry. Hopefully your new owner, you know, the person who probably picked you up and took you home and now has hundreds of pictures of me and my family and friends, will treat you with more respect than I did. But let's be honest, someone who keeps a camera that they know is not theirs is obviously not the most respectful person in the world. Maybe, someday, somehow, we wil

"Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones..."

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Did our parents really believe this when they taught us this riddle? Or was it just their hope that maybe if we, as naive children, believed it, we would avoid a lot of unnecessary hurt? Now that I'm no longer a naive child (I'm now a naive adult), words and their impact on my self-perception is something that I struggle with. Is it only people with self-esteem issues who are affected by what other people think of them? Or are even the most confident people hurt when someone thinks or says something bad about them? Or does it all depend on who the person saying negative things is and their relationship to you? Personally, it doesn't matter who the person is or what they have said about me, I still let it bother me. The key word here is let . It took me a long time, but I've finally realized that I do have control of the impact I let other people's words have on me. Unfortunately, reali

"Money - Like Vodka - Can Do Crazy Things" ~Unknown

Can money buy happiness? A topic that has been debated for quite some time now, is becoming more and more relevant to my everyday life. Maybe it's because I've never had as much money as I wanted, or maybe it's that I've always wanted to spend more than I've had. Regardless of how I got here, money (or in my case, lack thereof) is a dominant part of my everyday life. A recent study done by a sociologist found that financially richer people tend to be happier than those who are poorer. After so many arguments saying that money can't buy happiness, now we have studies showing that those with more money are both physically and mentally healthier (wouldn't we all be though if we could afford it?). This is very interesting to me, because I for one am someone who very much enjoys shopping, especially when I'm feeling depressed. Nothing that a cute outfit can't fix, right? I can't help but think of Fat Bastard and his predicament with eating. Do I spen

My goal in life is to be as good of a person as my dog already thinks I am. ~Unknown

Isn't it amazing what good therapy dogs can be? They can tell when you're upset, but yet, they never ask you why. Instead, they just comfort you, or in Jackson's case, bring you his favorite toy hoping that it will somehow bring you as much joy as it brings him. As bad as it sounds, one of the hardest parts of leaving home is leaving this dog. He has had such an impact on all of our lives. He is filled with more personality than any dog I've ever owned (which as most of you know, is quite a few)! I think what brings me the most joy, is seeing how happy Jackson makes Mark . It's funny to think about how much Mark did not want this dog. He only agreed to keep him because he saw how attached my mom and I already were to him. Little did he know, Jackson turned out to be Mark's biggest supporter during this entire battle with cancer. I've always liked the quote I used as the title of this entry. I think we could all be better people if we tried to be the peo

Through the clouds...

Finally some good news! Today Mark had his biggest appointment yet and found out that his cancer has had a 73% reduction! His doctor thinks that maybe after 3 more treatments he could go into remission. Although I broke my streak of not crying, for the first time in a very long time they were tears of joy. Only like 15% of the people receiving this treatment have any success, so this is huge. Although Mark is dreading going back in tomorrow for another treatment, at least he is going in knowing that he's not doing this for nothing, it really is saving his life. I am so thankful for this fall break that I got to spend with him. He was back to his old self again and I really enjoyed his company. This is the Mark I want to remember, and the Mark that makes my mom so happy. Although I know it's still going to be hard leaving to go back to school tomorrow, because it always is, at least now my hope has completely been restored. The fact that Mark is still here is a miracle in itse

Sunday, 09 October 2005

I guess for my first entry instead of trying to get all philosophical and stuff, I should start off by bringing everyone up to speed on my life. I am 22 years old and in my last year at Bowling Green. Okay, I think that about sums it all up. Moving on.... just kidding. I figured now is a good excuse to fill out one those dumb surveys that we all get emailed to us by our close friends who probably all already know the answers anyway. But seriously, what better way to answer all those questions that you, who may not be my close friends, might be wondering about me? Let's get personal.... [Name] Emily Lynn Steele [Nickname] Em, Emmy, Emmy Booskie, Steele, Stelio... the list could probably go on. [The day I had my first breath] July 24, 1983 [Zodiac sign] Leo [Born in] Cincinnati, Ohio [Where I live right now] Bowling Green, Ohio (But from Shelby and Butler, Ohio) [Height] 5'3" [Righty or lefty] Righty [Eye color] Blue [Hair color] Brown (wow, it's