Me: I'm a terrible winker.
Pat: You really are. Probably the worst I've ever met. Not that I go around asking people to wink at me...
Me: (hand Graham a tiny, age-appropriate piece of avocado)
Pat: Geez! You might as well feed him a golf ball
Me: Are you serious?
Pat: I guess I'm a little paranoid.
Me: I would have been a terrible wife in the 1950s.
Pat: Heard that. I would have divorced you already.
Pat: (pulls up picture from google) Does this look familiar?
Me: No, why would it?
Pat: It's Jabba the Hutt
Pat: It looks just like your baby picture.
Me: That's the smallest avocado pit I've ever seen.
Pat: That's what she said.
Pat; Is it a sign of the times that I just found a dollar in the street and the first thing I thought of was, 'is there poop folded in the middle?'
Pat: I'm serious, that's the first thing I thought of.
Me: Well, was there?
Me: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, anyway?
Pat: I don't know but I loved that show.
Me: Did you have that game on your computer at school?
Me: Did you have Oregon Trail?
Pat: Heck yeah.
Me: Did you die of diarrhea when playing it?
Pat: No, but that's probably how I would die on the real Oregon Trail
Pat: Looks like the neighbors have a little beer pong action going on. Should we go show them what we've got?
Me: No. We don't have anything anymore.
Pat: Yeah, that's true.
Me: Can I offer you some tic tacs?
Pat: I'd love some. Especially since I didn't brush my teeth this morning.
Me: You haven't brushed your teeth at all today?
Pat: No. I forgot.
Me: (hand him some tic tacs)
Pat: I'm going to need more than two.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
Pat: (starts doing some weird dance move to the music)
Me: (start dancing too)
Pat: I'm not dancing. I'm stretching my wrist.
Me: Oh. I thought we were having a dance party.
Pat: What kind of dance move did you think I was doing?
Me: I never know with you...