To my brother

On a serious note, my brother would have turned 22 today. It's so hard for me to believe! July 30th marked 15 years since he died. That's even harder for me to believe. It's so great for me to have Pat's younger brother Michael in my life. Mike turns 22 in a month and gives me an idea of what my brother might be like. Even after 15 years, I can't say that I look back and think to myself, "Everything happens for a reason and there is a reason he was taken from us." I just don't think I will ever have that kind of outlook. What I can say, however, is that life is what you make it. Similarly to the attitude of "everything happens for a reason" (I'm not criticizing that outlook on life, I'm just saying it doesn't work for me. It leaves too many questions about what reason could possibly be good enough to take away someone's only son, someone's only brother, someone's entire life?) I believe that we have the opportunity to take any situation and make the best of it. It has only taken me about 15 years to get to that point. No matter how much I have healed over the last 15 years, I still miss my brother. I think about him today on his birthday, I think about him around the holidays, I will think about him on my wedding day, and I will think about him when I have children who will never know their uncle. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to be a big sister for 7 years and for being the sweetest little boy I have ever known. We all still miss you.