It's been a good run but I finally decided to come clean to the government about my secret life. You see, for the past two years and two months, I have been living under the dual identity of both Emily S and Emily R. I have to admit, it was invigorating.
But, all good things must come to an end. And after my computer at work got a virus this afternoon, I was convinced the government had figured me out. So I went straight to the social security office to come clean. When she asked me "what is the reason for your name change," I told her I had gotten married. When she smiled and said congratulations, I have to admit, I was embarrassed to tell her it had actually been over two years ago. She didn't seem phased. I'm sure she's seen it all.
There are several reasons why it took so long for me to finally make my name change official with the government (I changed my credit cards, license and other items immediately). First, hour limitations at the office. Before I started at my new job, I didn't have the ability to just go to the social security office between the hours of 8 and 4. So that covers my first year of marriage. As for the second year, I guess I was dragging my feet.
Hear me out ladies. Wasn't it at all difficult for you to let go of a name you have had your entire life? It's like giving up a piece of your identity. For me, it goes even a little bit deeper than that. I no longer had my brother in my family to carry on the Steele name and that really bothered me. It still does. Sunday marked 18 years since his death. It's really hard to believe.
Anyway, this disagreement caused a lot of turmoil in the Robinson household. I wanted to keep Steele on my social security card, as my middle name, and it really bothered Pat. I read an entire ethnography in grad school about marriage and names and how husbands and wives decide what they're going to do with their names.
Some women are so eager to take their husband's name that they only refer to themselves as Mrs. Patrick Robinson (gag). Others decided they weren't going to part with their maiden names and either kept it or hyphenated it. And in some cases, the man and woman combined their names to make up an entirely different last name. It was a very interesting book. Wish I could remember what it was called so I could pass it along.
I fall somewhere in between. I am super excited to have the same last name as Pat and I want to have the same last name as our kids (no, we're not expecting, I'm talking about the future). That being said, I just didn't want to see my maiden name disappear. After a lot of (heated) discussions, Pat and I finally came to an agreement about the name change. Granted, I could have just gone to the social security office and made my name whatever I wanted, and asked for forgiveness later, but that isn't how Pat and I operate. I wanted to keep Steele, but I wanted him to be okay with it. I explained my perspective again and he either got tired of arguing or finally saw things from my perspective.
So my new name is officially Emily L. S. Robinson. If you are going to address me, I wish you to only address me with my four name title, please. Of course I'm kidding. According to the government, I can still list my name as Emily L. Robinson and never have to list the Steele if I don't want to. But I can use it if I want to as my second middle name. I probably never will but that wasn't the point for me. I just wanted to know that I kept it, somewhere. Even if no one ever sees it. Maybe that's weird, but we already knew that.
I would love to hear your thoughts about changing your name and whether or not it was hard for you.
But, all good things must come to an end. And after my computer at work got a virus this afternoon, I was convinced the government had figured me out. So I went straight to the social security office to come clean. When she asked me "what is the reason for your name change," I told her I had gotten married. When she smiled and said congratulations, I have to admit, I was embarrassed to tell her it had actually been over two years ago. She didn't seem phased. I'm sure she's seen it all.
There are several reasons why it took so long for me to finally make my name change official with the government (I changed my credit cards, license and other items immediately). First, hour limitations at the office. Before I started at my new job, I didn't have the ability to just go to the social security office between the hours of 8 and 4. So that covers my first year of marriage. As for the second year, I guess I was dragging my feet.
Hear me out ladies. Wasn't it at all difficult for you to let go of a name you have had your entire life? It's like giving up a piece of your identity. For me, it goes even a little bit deeper than that. I no longer had my brother in my family to carry on the Steele name and that really bothered me. It still does. Sunday marked 18 years since his death. It's really hard to believe.
Anyway, this disagreement caused a lot of turmoil in the Robinson household. I wanted to keep Steele on my social security card, as my middle name, and it really bothered Pat. I read an entire ethnography in grad school about marriage and names and how husbands and wives decide what they're going to do with their names.
Some women are so eager to take their husband's name that they only refer to themselves as Mrs. Patrick Robinson (gag). Others decided they weren't going to part with their maiden names and either kept it or hyphenated it. And in some cases, the man and woman combined their names to make up an entirely different last name. It was a very interesting book. Wish I could remember what it was called so I could pass it along.
I fall somewhere in between. I am super excited to have the same last name as Pat and I want to have the same last name as our kids (no, we're not expecting, I'm talking about the future). That being said, I just didn't want to see my maiden name disappear. After a lot of (heated) discussions, Pat and I finally came to an agreement about the name change. Granted, I could have just gone to the social security office and made my name whatever I wanted, and asked for forgiveness later, but that isn't how Pat and I operate. I wanted to keep Steele, but I wanted him to be okay with it. I explained my perspective again and he either got tired of arguing or finally saw things from my perspective.
So my new name is officially Emily L. S. Robinson. If you are going to address me, I wish you to only address me with my four name title, please. Of course I'm kidding. According to the government, I can still list my name as Emily L. Robinson and never have to list the Steele if I don't want to. But I can use it if I want to as my second middle name. I probably never will but that wasn't the point for me. I just wanted to know that I kept it, somewhere. Even if no one ever sees it. Maybe that's weird, but we already knew that.
I would love to hear your thoughts about changing your name and whether or not it was hard for you.
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