"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Did our parents really believe this when they taught us this riddle? Or was it just their hope that maybe if we, as naive children, believed it, we would avoid a lot of unnecessary hurt? Now that I'm no longer a naive child (I'm now a naive adult), words and their impact on my self-perception is something that I struggle with. Is it only people with self-esteem issues who are affected by what other people think of them? Or are even the most confident people hurt when someone thinks or says something bad about them? Or does it all depend on who the person saying negative things is and their relationship to you? Personally, it doesn't matter who the person is or what they have said about me, I still let it bother me. The key word here is let. It took me a long time, but I've finally realized that I do have control of the impact I let other people's words have on me. Unfortunately, realizing this isn't enough. Not letting other people's opinions of you upset you, is something that is much easier said than done. Take for example, if someone were to call me crazy. Even though deep down I know that I am not crazy, once I hear that someone else thinks I am, my mind starts to wander and the snowball effect begins. "Maybe I am crazy and just never realized it." "Do other people think I'm crazy?" After every possible thought has gone through my head and I am feeling really down about myself, it hits me. The only thing crazy about me is that I let other people's opinions of me upset me as much as I do. I read a quote that states, "What you think of me is none of my business." I didn't really understand it at first, but it really does help to keep things in perspective. However, when someone is telling other people negative things about you, to stick with my example, telling people you're crazy for instance, what they think of you is no one else's business either, therefore I think it's natural to be upset about someone saying bad things about you to other people. Here is where another quote comes into play for me, "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." The truly important people in my life know everything about me and love me anyway. Anyone who would hear someone calling me crazy and believe it, isn't someone that matters in my life anyway. It is so easy for me to sit here and rationalize all of this so that it makes perfect sense never to get upset when other people talk bad about you. However, I can almost guarantee that the next time someone is saying mean things about me, I will still get upset, even after all the reasons I've just given as to why I shouldn't. I think this might be something I struggle with for a long time and maybe I never will learn to not get bothered by other people's opinions of me. But never letting other people's words hurt me is a skill that if learned, could protect me from a lot unnecessary hurt.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me." Did our parents really believe this when they taught us this riddle? Or was it just their hope that maybe if we, as naive children, believed it, we would avoid a lot of unnecessary hurt? Now that I'm no longer a naive child (I'm now a naive adult), words and their impact on my self-perception is something that I struggle with. Is it only people with self-esteem issues who are affected by what other people think of them? Or are even the most confident people hurt when someone thinks or says something bad about them? Or does it all depend on who the person saying negative things is and their relationship to you? Personally, it doesn't matter who the person is or what they have said about me, I still let it bother me. The key word here is let. It took me a long time, but I've finally realized that I do have control of the impact I let other people's words have on me. Unfortunately, realizing this isn't enough. Not letting other people's opinions of you upset you, is something that is much easier said than done. Take for example, if someone were to call me crazy. Even though deep down I know that I am not crazy, once I hear that someone else thinks I am, my mind starts to wander and the snowball effect begins. "Maybe I am crazy and just never realized it." "Do other people think I'm crazy?" After every possible thought has gone through my head and I am feeling really down about myself, it hits me. The only thing crazy about me is that I let other people's opinions of me upset me as much as I do. I read a quote that states, "What you think of me is none of my business." I didn't really understand it at first, but it really does help to keep things in perspective. However, when someone is telling other people negative things about you, to stick with my example, telling people you're crazy for instance, what they think of you is no one else's business either, therefore I think it's natural to be upset about someone saying bad things about you to other people. Here is where another quote comes into play for me, "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." The truly important people in my life know everything about me and love me anyway. Anyone who would hear someone calling me crazy and believe it, isn't someone that matters in my life anyway. It is so easy for me to sit here and rationalize all of this so that it makes perfect sense never to get upset when other people talk bad about you. However, I can almost guarantee that the next time someone is saying mean things about me, I will still get upset, even after all the reasons I've just given as to why I shouldn't. I think this might be something I struggle with for a long time and maybe I never will learn to not get bothered by other people's opinions of me. But never letting other people's words hurt me is a skill that if learned, could protect me from a lot unnecessary hurt.
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