After an extremely frustrating day today (yes, another one!), I got home and started watching the Decorah Eagles (which I've pretty much been watching nonstop since last Friday). Tonight I happened to tune in just in time to see the third Eaglet starting to hatch out of the egg. The mom sat back down on it before the Eaglet was completely out of the egg, but Pat and I tuned in later and actually got to see the Eaglet completely hatch! Watching this happen live, right before my eyes, made me feel such peace. When I say I felt an inner "peace," I know it probably doesn't make any sense at all and it's hard to explain but I'm going to try.
When asked at a religious retreat for work this summer, when do I feel the closest to God, it was a really difficult question for me to answer. I have a very personal and confusing relationship with God and rarely talk about it to anyone, let alone people from work whom I barely know. Even after all these years, I still don't know exactly what I believe or where I belong as far as any organized religion goes, but I pray and I believe in God. After giving the question a lot of thought, I finally came to the conclusion that I feel closest to God through nature.
This combined with my love for animals in general is what makes watching the Decorah Eagles so appealing to me. But it provides me with more than just entertainment. I feel calm, tranquil and close to nature when I'm watching.
This week has really made me feel like I'm being tested. And if so, in some ways, I think I'm winning. Well, technology is technically winning because my inability to connect to printers, the network and the Internet has made me significantly behind at work and hindered my ability to meet deadlines. That being said, I feel like I'm somewhat winning because of how I'm handling the situation.
Am I frustrated? Absolutely. Is it stressful? You bet. At some moments do I wish I could scream or throw something? Yes, yes I do. If someone walked by or into my office today, was it obvious that I was frazzled and not quite myself? I'm sure it was. But I keep telling myself, "You're doing the absolute best you can under the circumstances and it will all get done somehow" (even if I'm at work until midnight tomorrow night - which is a real possibility at this point).
But when I came home and got to watch the birth of an Eagle, it reminded me of how small these issues at work really are, in the big scheme of life. Life, of any kind, is precious and I refuse to not live mine fully or happily because of frustrating situations that are out of my control.
This is a really deep post for me and probably sounds really corny. But since Mark's death, I feel like I owe it to him to try really hard not to sweat the small stuff and to find happiness and joy in each day. Not saying it is easy or always works, but I feel different now than I did before he died and I can't explain it, no matter how much I try, so for now, I'm going to quit trying.
When asked at a religious retreat for work this summer, when do I feel the closest to God, it was a really difficult question for me to answer. I have a very personal and confusing relationship with God and rarely talk about it to anyone, let alone people from work whom I barely know. Even after all these years, I still don't know exactly what I believe or where I belong as far as any organized religion goes, but I pray and I believe in God. After giving the question a lot of thought, I finally came to the conclusion that I feel closest to God through nature.
This combined with my love for animals in general is what makes watching the Decorah Eagles so appealing to me. But it provides me with more than just entertainment. I feel calm, tranquil and close to nature when I'm watching.
This week has really made me feel like I'm being tested. And if so, in some ways, I think I'm winning. Well, technology is technically winning because my inability to connect to printers, the network and the Internet has made me significantly behind at work and hindered my ability to meet deadlines. That being said, I feel like I'm somewhat winning because of how I'm handling the situation.
Am I frustrated? Absolutely. Is it stressful? You bet. At some moments do I wish I could scream or throw something? Yes, yes I do. If someone walked by or into my office today, was it obvious that I was frazzled and not quite myself? I'm sure it was. But I keep telling myself, "You're doing the absolute best you can under the circumstances and it will all get done somehow" (even if I'm at work until midnight tomorrow night - which is a real possibility at this point).
But when I came home and got to watch the birth of an Eagle, it reminded me of how small these issues at work really are, in the big scheme of life. Life, of any kind, is precious and I refuse to not live mine fully or happily because of frustrating situations that are out of my control.
This is a really deep post for me and probably sounds really corny. But since Mark's death, I feel like I owe it to him to try really hard not to sweat the small stuff and to find happiness and joy in each day. Not saying it is easy or always works, but I feel different now than I did before he died and I can't explain it, no matter how much I try, so for now, I'm going to quit trying.
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