Monday, January 26, 2009

I'll try anything once

Oh how I wish that saying was true for me. But the reality is, I won't try anything once. It is something about myself that really bothers me and I'm trying very hard to change my ways. Change being the operative word since I blame my lack of risk taking on my fear and resistance to change. I'm not 100% sure how I got this way, but I have some ideas. When I was a kid, you know, during my impressionable youth, most of the change I encountered was negative. My parents divorce and my brother's death being the two major events that came without warning and changed my life forever. That's one explanation, which I definitely think has some merit to it. The other explanation is just that some people like to have control, particularly anxious people, and when you encounter changes and new things, you give up a certain element of that control. I would venture to guess that both explanations contribute to my lack of an adventurous way of life. I am the least adventurous when it comes to food. But that's a whole other story.

All of that being said, I must tell you that I've made some progress in trying to overcome this downfall of mine, if you will. As you know, I signed up for an adult tap class. Although it's getting better, I still feel out of my element in the class. But I haven't given up! I also decided to take a Zoomba class at the YMCA, in the middle of the gym where everyone working out can watch (including my fiance, who likes to walk by and laugh at me). Finally, I also jumped into a step aerobics class which started out being completely humiliating but is getting much better. And I must say, all three are great workouts and will hopefully result in me feeling at least somewhat skinny at my wedding!

So the moral of the story? I don't really have one. If there was a point, I've forgotten it already. I guess all I'm trying to say is that one quality I do have, that I'm quite proud of, is my ability to self reflect. I'm always trying to be a better version of me and learning to embrace change will get me one step closer to the better me. :)