Saturday, July 20, 2013

Overheard in the Robinson Household

Overheard in the Robinson Household, volume 3

Me: I'm a terrible winker.
Pat: You really are. Probably the worst I've ever met. Not that I go around asking people to wink at me...

Me: (hand Graham a tiny, age-appropriate piece of avocado)
Pat: Geez! You might as well feed him a golf ball
Me: Are you serious?
Pat: I guess I'm a little paranoid.


Me: I would have been a terrible wife in the 1950s.
Pat: Heard that. I would have divorced you already.


Pat: (pulls up picture from google) Does this look familiar?
Me: No, why would it?
Pat: It's Jabba the Hutt
Me: Okay?
Pat: It looks just like your baby picture.


Me: That's the smallest avocado pit I've ever seen.
Pat: That's what she said.


Pat; Is it a sign of the times that I just found a dollar in the street and the first thing I thought of was, 'is there poop folded in the middle?'
Me: Pat...
Pat: I'm serious, that's the first thing I thought of.
Me: Well, was there?
Pat: No.


Me: Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego, anyway?
Pat: I don't know but I loved that show.
Me: Did you have that game on your computer at school?
Pat: No. 
Me: Did you have Oregon Trail?
Pat: Heck yeah.
Me: Did you die of diarrhea when playing it?
Pat: No, but that's probably how I would die on the real Oregon Trail


Pat: Looks like the neighbors have a little beer pong action going on. Should we go show them what we've got?
Me: No. We don't have anything anymore.
Pat: Yeah, that's true.


Me: Can I offer you some tic tacs?
Pat: I'd love some. Especially since I didn't brush my teeth this morning.
Me: You haven't brushed your teeth at all today?
Pat: No. I forgot.
Me: (hand him some tic tacs)
Pat: I'm going to need more than two.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.


Pat: (starts doing some weird dance move to the music)
Me: (start dancing too)
Pat: I'm not dancing. I'm stretching my wrist.
Me: Oh. I thought we were having a dance party.
Pat: What kind of dance move did you think I was doing?
Me: I never know with you...

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Graham's crawling video

I can't believe that when the month of July started, Graham wasn't crawling at all. Now here it is, halfway through the month and not only has he perfected the crawl, but he's now pulling himself up on furniture and walking alongside of it.

It is amazing how quickly these developmental milestones happen. Such a fun, scary and exciting time in our parenting quest. It's fun to see him mobile and to be able to call his name and have him crawl to you. In fact, it melts my heart every single time.

Life in the Robinson household is very different, that's for sure. On Saturday, I was in the bathroom getting ready and Pat was in the kitchen. Graham spent his time crawling back and forth between the two of us (and seeing what trouble he could get into in between). We had to keep yelling to one another "He's coming your way."

I love the new noise he makes when he crawls now. That is new just this week. You can kind of hear it in this video I made. Now if he could figure out how to carry his ball while crawling, I think his life would be complete.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Emscapades - Pawley's Island round two

Emscapades, Volume 3

This Emscapade once again took place on the beach of Pawley's Island, South Carolina. Again, taking a stroll along the beach, only this time it was at night and the sky was pitch black. The beach was pretty empty with the exception of a group just next to the deck leading up to our beach house.

Pat and I had just finished our walk along the beach and stopped to pause for a moment and listen to the roar of the ocean waves. After all, there are few better sounds in the world, right? We found ourselves both looking up and gazing at the stars when all of the sudden we hear someone from the group next to us start making bird sounds.

"Ca caw, ca caw," he yelled. Pat and I looked at each other, chuckled a little and then went back to our star gazing and wave listening. The bird sound happened again. "Ca caw, ca caw." This time we completely ignored the noise and continued looking up at the stars when all of the sudden, there was a guy running right up to us.

To say it caught us both off guard is an understatement. I would go as far as saying, it scared the crap out of us! The guy, obviously quite "spirited" as my dad would call it (also known as wasted), was holding a drink, naturally, and was wearing khaki shorts and a beach shirt that was appropriately completely unbuttoned and hanging off his shoulders on each side. And he had brown hair down to his shoulders. Of course he did.

I believe Pat was the first to speak by nervously saying, "duuuude." I think what he meant to say is "what the heck are you doing running up on complete strangers in the dark?" But instead, all that came out was, "duuuuude."Which was more articulate than what I came up with which was...nothing.

"You guys didn't answer the bird call," the wasted beach bum said. "Didn't you hear me going, 'Ca caw, ca caw?'" Luckily, I believe his question was rhetorical as he didn't give us enough time to respond before he went on to say, "You're supposed to answer back with 'Ca caw, ca caw' when you hear the bird call so I needed to come and check you guys out."

He then took off into the dark and ran back to his party, his unbuttoned shirt flapping in the wind. Pat and I asked each other what the heck just happened and then decided it was time to call it a night and head back to the house, locking the doors behind us. 

I couldn't make this story up if I wanted to.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

The nine month mark

The ninth month mark in this parenting game has been the most interesting yet. In the beginning it took six weeks just to get a smirk, now I blink and Graham is crawling or pulling himself up or even standing on his own for a few seconds.

Gone are the days when he laid still for diaper and wardrobe changes. Now it's more like wrestling an alligator just to get him changed. A screaming alligator at that. Although he has less teeth, he does bite. Oh yeah, that's another new development.

Now that he has both top and bottom teeth, you have to be on high alert when his mouth is anywhere near your skin. He bit me for the first time at a funeral home when I was talking to the family and wasn't paying attention to him. And it wasn't a quick bite, his jaw was still clenched on my shoulder when I squealed and caused a scene.

That wasn't the only scene he caused at the funeral home that night. He also pulled my shirt down, exposing the entire left half of my chest. Luckily it wasn't my skin being exposed but rather my light blue bra. It wasn't until Pat nonchalantly said, "you better watch your shirt." It was quite an eventful evening.

This is what I'm talking about. Everything is extremely eventful with a nine month old. It's an extremely fun and extremely interesting time in his development and thus our lives.

His nine month doctor's appointment was extremely interesting. At his six month appointment, he laid on the exam table calm and still while they took his measurements. Those days are over. The nurse couldn't even mark where his feet were because he wouldn't lay still long enough. When she finally got the feet marked, he destroyed the exam table paper before she could get to his head. So she had to start all over.

Gone are the days when I could sit him in the middle of the living room floor, go use the restroom and come back to find him sitting in the same spot. Now I leave the room for a minute and not only is he no longer in the exact spot where I left him, but he's not even in the room anymore.

I literally can't take my eyes off of him for a second. I turned away from him to hang something in his closet, he was sitting right in front of me. Next thing I know, he had tried to pull himself up and went tumbling backwards and hit his head.

And the biggest changes of all are the changes to his sleep habits. Yes, we have been spoiled rotten with a baby who has slept through the night since six weeks old so you might not feel bad for us. But starting with our first night of vacation, all eight nights of vacation and the last four or five nights, he has been waking up in the middle of the night and staying awake for an hour or sometimes two.

Could be teething, could be wanting to show off all his new tricks, could be the fact that we ran to him every time he cried on vacation to keep him from waking other people up, could be a combination of all of the above. No matter the cause, we want our good sleeper back.

Nothing keeps you on your toes more than being a parent. Just when you think you have things figured out or get used to the way things are going, they change again.

Sure it's crazy, embarrassing and eventful but I am still loving every single second of being Graham's mom. That being said, I wouldn't hate it if diaper changes went back to being easy and no longer felt like rodeo wrangling. Not going to happen, is it?

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Emscapades, volume 2

This Emscapade took place on the beach of Pawley's Island, South Carolina. I was taking an innocent stroll along the ocean shore, Graham in tow, when I got caught in the middle, literally, of an exchange between a grandma (I assume) and her grandson.

As Graham and I were walking by, the grandma to my right, the ocean to my left, the grandma started yelling toward the ocean in her deep southern draw (sounded more like a West Virginia accent than a South Carolina accent, but what do I know?) to "wipe your hands."

The next thing I know, the boy she was yelling to is wiping his sand-covered hands all down my chest, belly and thighs. My jaw dropped to the ground as I looked down and saw the massive amount of sand that was now all over my black bathing suite and shorts.

Next, I looked down at the boy, fully expecting to see a little three-year-old looking up at me and realizing I wasn't his mom or his Grandma or whoever he thought I was, and panicking.

Instead, I saw a five or six year old look up at me, grinning from ear to ear and marveling at his clean hands and my filthy bathing suit, before running away. His reaction only added to my previous state of shock.

My mouth was still open when the grandma, who witnessed the entire exchange, quickly came over to remedy the situation.

She said to me, in her thick southern draw, "Sorry about that. He do know better, but at the same time, he don't. You know what I mean? He do, but he don't." I tried to comprehend what point she was trying to make but I think it became clear to her that I didn't know what she meant at all, when I was still standing there speechless. I said nothing.

She diverted her attention to Graham who was resting on my hip throughout the entire incident and added, "Well ain't he a cutie?" Again, I said nothing. There aren't too many times in my life when I have been left speechless, but this was one of them.

Needless to say, our beach walk ended early. I turned around and headed back to our house where I proceeded to jump in the pool as what I saw as the best and fastest way to get the massive amount of sand off my body.

That quickly became our motto for the rest of the trip. "He do know better, but at the same time he don't. He do, but he don't."

So what do you think? Was this a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time, or just like I am a magnet for random conversations, am I also a magnet for random kids to use me like a hand towel?

Monday, July 08, 2013

Emscapades, volume 1

I can't take credit for the witty title of this post - my SIL Traci coined the phrase. But what I can take credit for are the crazy shenanigans, also known as Emscapades, that seem to follow me wherever I go - especially the grocery store.

Just ask Pat, who will tell you this is one of the many reasons he hates going to the grocery store with me. I am a magnet for strangers starting up conversations with me. And in my opinion, contrary to what Pat thinks, I don't believe I do anything to provoke it.

It can be something as simple as me standing in the line at the grocery store checkout with burgers and hamburger buns in my shopping cart. The woman in front of me sees the ingredients and says, "looks like you're having a cookout..." and then proceeds to tell me all about the picnic in the park she just had in which a family of racoons came down from the tree and took away their food.

Seriously. Other than the contents of my shopping cart, I did nothing to lure that woman to share her story with me. And there are many, many more examples of such occurrences. My last two trips to the grocery store involved a woman telling me about her love for Reese's peanut butter cups as she reached over me to grab one and went on to tell me all of the other peanut butter products on the market right now that I should try - including peanut butter pop tarts, and a mom telling me about her son's obsession with any type of food that contains carbohydrates). Both are true stories.

As I'm sitting here reflecting on the situation, I'm realizing that unfortunately, the common denominator is not the random people around me - they are always different. And sometimes, these Emscapades happen alone without a random person. The common denominator is me. Maybe Pat is right.

Have you ever seen those flow charts that ask you questions and depending on your answers, take you in completely different directions? Pretend that one line is Pat and one line is me and our reactions to such situations dictate the direction of these random conversations. We would both handle them very differently and thus, would have very different outcomes.

Take the raccoon picnic lady, for example. I wouldn't say that Pat would respond in a rude way, per say, if she would have made the picnic comment to him in the checkout line. But I would argue that he wouldn't engage in a conversation. He would probably politely smile or give one word answers to her questions and comments. Therefore giving the conversation nowhere to go but fizzle out.

I, however, would never want to be perceived as rude so I do engage in these conversations. I give more than one word, short answers and am genuinely interested (most of the time) in what they have to say. I like to talk. So sue me.

I've had a few of these Emscapades recently that I've been told are "blog worthy" so I decided to start this series. Rather than go back in time and share every checkout experience I've had at the grocery store in my lifetime, I'm going to start with the most recent occurrences which include the last week in June to present. Then I will try to keep up with the series as they happen.

Sound like fun?

To be continued...

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Game changer

Graham crawled for the first time tonight. He has taken a few forward motions here and there, one knee in front of the other, but for no more than three crawls at a time.

Tonight, he went the distance. All he needed was a worthwhile prize at the finish line: His daddy. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly these milestones happen. All day today he was trying to crawl, would give up and then resort to the army crawl. Then all of the sudden, it just clicks and he's crawling. I was fortunate to get his first crawl on video, which I'm quite excited about.

You will notice in the video that he could have kept going if he didn't get distracted by the large piece of mulch on the floor. He loves to find random objects that don't belong on the carpet. It's a really fun game we play. I vacuum, Grady drags the mulch in on his paws, Graham finds it and tries to eat it. Repeat.

We are very proud parents at this moment. Proud and nervous. We fully recognize this is a game changer. When I look at our floor, all I see are extension cords (one of which he has already had in his mouth), surge protectors, sharp dog bones, etc. Needless to say, we have some work to do in the baby-proofing department.

But the outlets are covered. So there's that.