My life as I know it

There is the path of least resistance and then there is the path that I think will be even less resistant than the path of least resistance which actually turns out to be a path with crater-size resistance. Are you following me? Six months ago, when Graham was ready to start eating solids, I decided I was going to make his baby food and save us some money. I was convinced I could make it cheaper and then also make foods that aren't available in the store to broaden Graham's pallet, if you will. In the interest of saving money, I didn't buy the baby food-making blender that I really wanted and instead used the blender we already owned. I had intended to blog about my baby food making experiences long ago but never got around to it. Maybe it's best. A few months ago, my post would have been all rainbows and butterflies. Because that was before I realized that sometimes making your own baby food doesn't save you money but actually costs you more. The day I realiz...

It is 9 p.m. on a Saturday night. And not just any Saturday night: It is the Saturday night before St. Patrick's Day. So what am I doing to celebrate? I am sitting in my basement, alone, listening to the ocean waves from Graham's nursery on the baby monitor, watching Hart of Dixie on Netflix and I just finished a glass of milk and some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It seems the days of green beer might be a thing of the past for me. I did contemplate putting green food coloring in my glass of milk, though, but decided it would be too much work. If you would have told me a year ago that this is what the future had in store for me on St. Patrick's Day, there is no way I would have believed you. Two years ago on St. Patrick's Day, I was sick and had to work and yet I still went out after work. Last year I was pregnant but still partook in the festivities (minus the beer, of course). Let's face it: I love a good party and any excuse to dress up and have f...

Do you ever go through life thinking, "this could only happen to me?" I feel like that is my life's motto. This is just another example. *** The request was simple: stop in on my friend's cat a few times while she and her husband were in Myrtle Beach. They only live about 10 minutes away and I was happy to help, so I said yes. Today was my first day on duty. To say it didn't go well is the understatement of the century. When I arrived at their house, I was greeted by the cat at the top of the stairs. The greeting went fine. She sniffed my hand, let me pet her and then she went on with her business. The first thing I noticed was a birthday gift for me on their dining room table (which was an extremely nice surprise) so I went over to open it. All of the sudden and completely out of nowhere, while I was reading my birthday card, the cat charged me and started attacking my legs - my bare exposed legs. On a 95+ degree day, it never occurred to me that maybe...

So I think God, Mother Earth, the Universe, or whatever you believe in, was trying to talk to me today. Tell me how weird this is: I was leaving work today and was taking my time walking to my car. I stopped to read a bumper sticker that said, "The best things in life aren't things." I was repeating that quote to myself as I walked the rest of the way to my car. Then, I get into my car and turn it on. The radio comes on automatically and, I kid you not, the first words I heard on the radio were, "The best things in life aren't things." It was a song called, I'll Be Waiting , by Michael Franti & SpearHead. I've never heard the song before and of all times for me to hear it, seconds after reading the exact same message on a bumper sticker! Seriously, someone or something was sending me a message! The message was received... I feel like there is so much in my life that I have been taking for granted lately and this was my wake up call. I get u...

There has been a lot of speculation lately about whether or not my dog, Grady, has grown out of his "consumption phase" in which he swallows socks, underwear and all paper products. My response to this question is a very diplomatic one in which I just state facts: To the best of my knowledge, Grady has not consumed anything other than his dog food in X months. Prior to today, X meant about eight months. I have been really careful with my response to this question because it has been too hard to tell if his eight month "remission," if you will, was a result of the fact that he has actually outgrown this bad habit or rather if it was a result of his owners doing a better job of keeping all temptations out of sight (and therefore, out of his stomach). I wanted to believe it was because he had outgrown it, but secretly, I think I knew he hadn't. Tonight, unfortunately, Grady proved that my suspicion was correct; he has yet to outgrow this awful habit. When given...

Since the day I turned 28 (on July 24), the topic of me having a baby has been quite popular among those I know, and even those I've never met before. I'm not sure what exactly happened, but something changed when I turned 28 and suddenly people seem very concerned about when I will start to make babies. Have you seen those Arby's commercials where they have the big logo over their head with the caption, "I'm thinking Arbys"? I can't help but feel like I've been walking around with one of those over my head except it's a big egg with a caption that says "egg supply depleting rapidly" and some warning siren that goes along with it when I walk by. Today, one of our faculty members came to visit at work with her one month old baby. I'm not going to lie, I do LOVE holding babies. I love the way the snuggle up to you, I love the way they smell and I love watching their facial expressions, trying to imagine what this world must look ...

It's been a good run but I finally decided to come clean to the government about my secret life. You see, for the past two years and two months, I have been living under the dual identity of both Emily S and Emily R. I have to admit, it was invigorating. But, all good things must come to an end. And after my computer at work got a virus this afternoon, I was convinced the government had figured me out. So I went straight to the social security office to come clean. When she asked me "what is the reason for your name change," I told her I had gotten married. When she smiled and said congratulations, I have to admit, I was embarrassed to tell her it had actually been over two years ago. She didn't seem phased. I'm sure she's seen it all. There are several reasons why it took so long for me to finally make my name change official with the government (I changed my credit cards, license and other items immediately). First, hour limitations at the office. Before...

I don't even really like the word panties. Actually, I despise it. But yet, I still find myself using the phrase "don't get your panties in a bunch," when a situation warrants such a thing. I'm pretty sure I've said it to Pat, who doesn't even wear panties. Go figure. Anyway, I bring this up because today, my panties are literally in a bunch. Not because I'm upset; my day has been quite pleasant, actually. Well, except for the fact that my panties are in a bunch. The problem is, I'm wearing panties underwear that are a size too small for me and therefore they are cutting off my circulation. I remember back in the day when I could wear a size extra small - in everything, including my underwear. And by back in the day, I mean all the way back to high school and perhaps my freshman year of college. It was a sad day when I had to go up to a size small. As you can imagine, it was an even harder day when I realized that I should go up ...

So it’s summer and you want to dress accordingly for the season. You picture cute shorts and tank tops, right? Not for me. You see, I have a very difficult time finding shorts that are at a length appropriate for both my age and my thunder thighs. When did all of the shorts get so short ? Or have they always been this short and it just didn’t bother me when I was skinny enough to wear them? If I do find shorts that are the right length, they are usually made for older women who are comfortable pulling pants up to their belly buttons. I’m not quite there yet. Maybe someday I will be, but not yet. For these reasons, I just avoid shorts all together which leads me to wearing dresses, like I am today. Dresses are great except that your thighs rub together when you’re wearing them and if it’s hot, they get sweaty and sticky. And after going around all day with your legs rubbing together, you can be sure that you will end up with leg chafage (aka leg chaffing). It’s been so long since I’...

Random thoughts after the bachelorette party weekend Brow pencils are my enemy and I do not need to draw attention to the wild jungle that are my eyebrows A bright orange bra was probably not my best choice since I could see it in every picture taken of me My fun nights often include someone stepping on and injuring my toes Choosing to wear flats instead of heels was the best decision ever If I ever need a career change, I could always move to Columbus and paint womens boobs for Comfest Taking shots and drinking mixed drinks all night was a bad choice since it is 11 pm on Sunday night and my stomach still isn't up to par Speaking of par, putting golf on the tv when we got home was a great choice and put me right to sleep for a much needed nap I hope the bride felt better today than I did since she had drive back to Iowa! Bring on August 27! Rupp wedding here we come!

No, I'm not mocking prayer. I believe a couple who prays together stays together too, but honestly, in my brief 15 months of marriage and five-year relationship with Pat, I have learned this much: assembling furniture and putting up tents are two of the very most challenging situations for our relationship. I don't blame either of us for this fact, I blame the people in China who build the furniture and I blame the people in America who claim they "tested all the parts" and who write those poor excuses for assembly instructions. The old adage, "a picture speaks a thousand words" does not hold true with assembly manuals, in my humble opinion. You may think your little picture with screws, arrows and parts are clear and concise, but we strongly disagree! I should point out, that Pat did the majority of the heavy lifting with this project. I was only called downstairs when the manual said "assistance required," (which ironically were the only word...

Do you remember the Saturday Night Live skit, Oops I Crapped My Pants ? It was always a favorite of mine and I still enjoy it to this day. Check it out if you've never seen it, it will be worth your time. Pat beat me home from work today, as I was at a hair appointment until 6:30 p.m. When I pulled into our driveway, I immediately noticed the bottom, plastic part of Grady's crate in our driveway. Next I saw the puddles of soapy water and my clean, wet dog. Oops, Grady must have crapped his crate (again). We've been through this song and dance more times than I can count over the last year. You walk in the back door and the smell hits you like a freight train. Next you have to figure out whether or not it's all over him and whether or not he can walk out of the crate or if you have to carry him out of the crate (which is no longer an option for me since he now weighs over 60 pounds). We've been watching his movements for the past few days, waiting for the weddin...

The last words out of Pat's mouth before we left for the grocery store were, "Did you dog proof the house?" We both walked back into the house to give it one more look. We moved anything made of paper off of the kitchen and dining room tables, we learned the hard way that moving paper into the middle of the tables isn't enough. He has long legs and he knows how to use them. Funny thing is, we have NEVER witnessed him jumping on the counter or our tables. He's at least smart enough not to do it in front of us. We made sure to close the doors to the bedrooms, we all know what he does with socks and underwear. We closed the doors to the bathrooms to prevent him from getting in the trash or the toilet (and he has done both). Finally, we shut the door to the basement just in case he could find any trouble down there. Feeling quite comfortable with the condition of the house, we left Grady alone while we headed for the grocery store. Neither of us really wanted to go....

Is there an appropriate amount of nicknames you can have for your pet? Or maybe a better question would be, how many nicknames is too many? I was just thinking about all of the different names I/we (but mostly me) call our dog, Grady, and there are a lot! I wonder if it gets confusing for him? Maybe that is why he only listens to me half of the time - because I only call him by his real name half of the time (actually, that's being generous. I probably call him by his real name much less than half of the time). Here are the different names I call my dog: Grady Grady Mac Grady Mac Robinson (his full, birth given name) Grady Boy Big Boy Buddy Mr. Fluffy (name given to him by kid at the vet) Fluffy Fluffer Mr. Fluffer Mr. Fluffer Pants Mr. Fluffer Pants Head Mr. Fluffer Head Fluffer Fluff (spin off of Flavor Flav) Stretcher Bear (I used to say this every time he stretched, now he stretches just to hear me say it) Wow, as I was typing these I started to get emba...

I am a very goal oriented person, as some of you may know. In addition to the thrill I get out of planning, making lists and crossing things off, I also enjoy setting goals for myself and trying to obtain them. I've set a few goals recently that I'd like to share with you. Not only because you might find them interesting, but also because by actually writing them out and making them public, I know that I will hold myself more accountable for them. Also, many of the goals will in one way or another shape and impact the things I write about in this blog. Goal #1: Make one new recipe each week Sounds easy, right? In theory, it probably should be. But I make everything more complicated than it needs to be. I don't like to go to the grocery store more than once a week. Maybe you think that's weird or maybe you agree with me but regardless, when I make a trip to the grocery store, I want it to be a well thought-out trip that involves a detailed list of everything...

Oh how I wish that saying was true for me. But the reality is, I won't try anything once. It is something about myself that really bothers me and I'm trying very hard to change my ways. Change being the operative word since I blame my lack of risk taking on my fear and resistance to change. I'm not 100% sure how I got this way, but I have some ideas. When I was a kid, you know, during my impressionable youth, most of the change I encountered was negative. My parents divorce and my brother's death being the two major events that came without warning and changed my life forever. That's one explanation, which I definitely think has some merit to it. The other explanation is just that some people like to have control, particularly anxious people, and when you encounter changes and new things, you give up a certain element of that control. I would venture to guess that both explanations contribute to my lack of an adventurous way of life. I am the least adventurous whe...