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Parenting status remains at rookie

Someone asked me recently how I'm adjusting to being a mom. The answer to that question is an easy one. I love every single second of it. It is hands down the best and most meaningful job I've ever had. Nothing in this world makes me happier.

From the moment I held Graham in my arms for the first time, I forgot about what life was like before he was here. Everything has more meaning now and I am overwhelmed every day by how much I love him and love being his mom.

That being said, five and a half months into this gig and I still have no idea what the heck I'm doing. If a "mom of the year" award really did exist, I do something on a daily basis to ensure that I would never receive that award.

HEADLINE: Inexperienced parents pinch son's leg in car seat, cause scene at wedding

People (namely my father-in-law and my husband) had been telling me for a while that they thought Graham's car seat was getting a little too snug. I knew that he is supposed to fit in the car seat until he weighs 30 pounds and he only weighs 15.

So basically I ignored them and continued to try and shove him in the car seat, justifying the fact that he cried every time you put him in there with the argument that some kids just don't like being in car seats. Seemed logical enough.

That is until two weeks ago when we were at a wedding trying to get Graham in his car seat before leaving. Between the tight car seat and his thick corduroy pants, we accidentally pinched his leg in the car seat buckle (and by "we," I do not mean me. Sorry, Pat). At that moment, while he was screaming in pain, I decided that maybe Graham really was too big for his car seat.

On the way home from the wedding, I did what any good parent would do: I googled it. As it turns out, there were several reasons to explain why Graham was no longer fitting in his car seat. First of all, I learned that once your child is no longer a newborn, you are supposed to take out the extra padding to make more room.

I also learned that once the straps start becoming snug, you are supposed to adjust them to make them longer.  Who knew? Definitely not me. So we did both of those things and miraculously, Graham started fitting in his car seat again and no longer screams when you put him in there. Lesson learned.

HEADLINE: Mom remembers opposite of what she is told, sets son back developmentally due to improper use of exercauser and jumperoo

Right around the time Graham was born, or maybe even before, I remember several people telling me how important it is to make sure only the tiptoes of baby's feet can touch the ground when using the exercauser or jumperoo. It is important for their development, they said.

Recently, when Graham reached the age when we could start using these toys, I had forgotten the reasons behind the importance of only a baby's tiptoes touching the ground when using them, but I remembered vividly people telling me to make sure of it.

So I did what any good parent would do: I googled it. And sure enough there was an article about the importance of making sure your baby couldn't touch their feet flat on the ground when using exercausers and jumperoos. I shared this information with Pat and we made sure to set them high enough that only his tiptoes could touch.

Last week, my father-in-law brought to Pat's attention that he thought we had the toys raised too high and that he thought Graham should be able to touch his feet flat to the ground. Pat defended me, sweet guy, by saying, "Emily read an article that their feet shouldn't touch flat." It didn't seem like Pat's dad agreed, but he didn't push the issue.

Well, just to prove that I was right, I decided to call my sister, one of the people who informed me of this issue, so she could remind me why it is so important. When I asked her, she practically yelled at me and told me that I had it backwards: It is important that their feet touch flat on the ground, not the other way around.

A few important lessons learned: 1. If you tell me something, I will remember the opposite of what you said. 2. you can find articles on google to support anything - right or wrong. 3. Pat will believe whatever I tell him - right or wrong.

But seriously, there seems to be a lot of conflicting information around this topic. And since I bought both toys used, I do not have the owner's manuals for either product.

HEADLINE: Mom forgets intended use of diaper bag, carries it around for show

Graham got baptized on Saturday in Mansfield. Shortly after we arrived to the church, it became clear that Graham had a poopy diaper. So I went to the diaper bag to grab a diaper, only to find that there were none. That's right. Not one diaper located in Graham's entire diaper bag.

It wasn't like I could even discreetly go and tell Pat that we had no diapers. We were all in a small room gathering before the baptism started so everybody there was aware of the poopy diaper and thus became aware of my lack of diapers in the diaper bag.

It was definitely one of my prouder moments as a mom. So my options were - have Graham wear one of his cousin Harper's diapers, who is ten months older and in diapers two sizes bigger, or leave him in the poopy diaper until we went back to my parents' house where the twenty diapers I had packed for the weekend were located.

Then I remembered that several months ago, when I was still feeling like my organized self, I had put a diaper changing kit in the door of my car, for emergencies such as this. Unfortunately, several months ago Graham was wearing size 1 diapers and is now in size 3, but it was a diaper nonetheless. Even though the diaper was too small, I still felt I had somewhat redeemed myself since I was able to show everyone that I did have a diaper.

Crisis averted and lesson learned (I hope). I wish I could say this was the first time I had been caught with an ill-equipped diaper bag but it's not. And I'm sure it won't be the last. But at least I remembered the diaper bag. That is an improvement over Graham's first doctor's appointment where I showed up with no diaper bag and no diapers and he ended up having two pees and one poop.

While I could go on and on with more examples of all the things I have and continue to screw up as Graham's mom, I won't bore you any longer.

Before Graham was born, everyone told me my "maternal instincts" would kick in and things would come naturally. I assumed this meant that when these instincts took over, I would just magically know what to do in every aspect of being a mom. Not so. 

The reality is, there are no owner's manuals or instructions that come with kids. If such a thing did exist, believe me, I would know because I read a lot. But everything you read emphasizes the fact that every baby is different and the best thing you can do is let your baby teach you all that you need to know.

So that's what I'm doing. And I'm learning a lot. Unfortunately, I'm learning at a glacial speed and many lessons I'm learning the hard way. But one thing is for sure: It may be the most difficult and confusing job I've ever had, and I might mess up, a lot, but I've never been happier.

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