My life as I know it

Y es, it's true. I can finally see the light. No, not that light. Not the light you see right before you die. Although I swear I've seen that light many times this semester too and I answered it by saying, please. Be my guest. Take me. No, I'm kidding. I'm talking about the light at the end of the tunnel. As far as educational tunnels go, this has definitely been the longest one I've ever been through. It's a funny thing about this post because I actually started to write it a week ago when I thought I could see the light. Seems I was mistaken because I got very overwhelmed again and just like that the light was gone. So I waited until I could really say, I do see the light. And finally, I can say I do. And boy does it look nice! Don't get me wrong. My work isn't done. I'm finishing up the last few pages of my 25 page paper, I have 2 exams next week, still need to grade my students' last speech and will have to grade their final exams next week a...

Mark got another MRI today and the doctor reported "no brain activity." Normally, one would think this is a bad thing. Shouldn't a brain be doing SOMETHING?!?! However, in the world of cancer and brain tumors, no brain activity is a very good thing. It means there are no new brain tumors since his last MRI. As far as the activity in Mark's brain... of course he's having activity up there. He's looking at the kitchen counter wondering what clutter he can get rid of and who's full can of pop he can throw away. :) But that's the kind of brain activity we have come to accept from Mark and maybe, maybe even find humorous at times. When Mark tried to get answers about the "big picture" of this "clean" MRI, the doctor simply explained to him this scan isn't any indication as to what the next scans might reveal. Mark, and the rest of us, will have to continue living scan to scan . Good news one day, maybe bad news the next. For right n...

Uh oh, you're thinking. The title of this blog sounds pretty deep and philosophical. Some of you may be enticed by the thought of me writing about such deep matters rather than my usual trivial nonsense. Others may have stopped reading immediately after seeing the title. That's okay. I don't blame you. Emily and philosophy is a scary combination, like Britney Spears and hair clippers. But yes, I am feeling deep and philosophical so be warned. It's a rare occasion, but this time I'm writing for me. No jokes, no sarcasm. Just me and my raw thoughts. They're thoughts I need to get off my chest or else they will just keep lingering in my brain and my brain can't handle many lingering thoughts these days. Being the pessimist that I am, hope is never something I've struggled with because it's never really existed to me. The very reason I struggle with religion is my inability to be hopeful and believe in things that I don't have hardcore evidence to be...

This picture was taken of me tonight after I took my huge exam (that I'm pretty sure I bombed - not literally - I don't do bombs, just guns and yellow high heels). Now that I've calmed down a bit, I feel kind of bad for shooting the computer because I know that it wasn't the real source of my frustration. I displaced my anger. I seem to be doing that a lot lately. I've heard the saying "misery loves company" many times throughout my life and I've met many people who have demonstrated this concept quite clearly. It wasn't until recently, however, that I actually became one of those people who, intentionally or not, bring other people down just because they are down. And since I'm down now, and "misery loves company," I figured why not try to bring you down too? :) I wanted to start this evening by talking about right and left hand turns. Now before I go any further, I want to give you a moment to go back in time to driver's ed. For...

1. Where were you 1 hour ago? Sitting in this exact same spot on my bed, writing note cards 2. Who will get your next kiss? Probably my nephew Max when I babysit on Thursday 3. When is the last time you went to the mall? Just so happens I spent two days at the Mall of America in Minnesota last Thursday and Friday 4. Are you wearing socks right now? Yes, but they will definitely come off before bed 5. When was the last time you went out of the state? Last week (Minnesota) and two weeks before that (Paris) but it usually is a rare occasion 6. Have you been to the movies in the last 5 days? Nope 7. What was the last thing you had to drink? I'm drinking Diet Dr. Pepper right now to keep me up all night 8. What are you wearing right now? Big T-shirt that says "I hear voices and they don't like you" - classy I know - and fleece pajama pants. 9. What was your last purchase? Clothes as the Mall of America 10. Last food you ate? Just had a brownie and dried banana chips 11. Wh...

HELP! I've fallen into a rut and I can't get out! I'm not sure what has happened to me over the past month but I've become extremely unmotivated. It's probably the hardest semester of my life and the worst time for me to feel this way but I guess we don't choose our ruts now do we? Maybe it's the fact that I've been in school for the past 20 or so years. Maybe it's the fact that I'm so close to being finished. Maybe it's because I'm so overwhelmed by the semester that I've just given up. Whatever the reason, I have to do something about it because quitting or failing is not an option for me. On that note, I'm hoping that my trip in a little over a week will be just what I need to rejuvenate me. March 7 through the 17 I will be in Paris, France with a class from school. It is a once in a lifetime opportunity and I am so excited! As you can probably tell, the Eiffel Tower is the sight I'm most excited to see. I don't think i...

Change is such a strange thing. In some instances, it can bring great excitement and thrill to life's monotony . In other cases, it adds to life's uncertainties and hardships. So much has changed, both good and bad, since I've last written. I'm not sure what type of person you are, but personally I like to start with the bad news and then end on a positive note and since this is my blog that's exactly what I'm going to do. Mark's most recent MRI found another brain tumor. I learned at a very young age how unfair life is, but yet it never ceases to amaze me. I hate to sound like such a pessimist but I get so angry when I think about all of the rotten people in this world who don't know what suffering even feels like. Yet this man who has been putting everyone else before himself since I've known him has endured more pain and suffering than even the rotten people deserve. I know that even trying to rationalize this does no good whatsoever and is just...

Do you smell that? It smells really nice doesn't it? If you're wondering what that wonderful scent is, it's a new fragrance called VICTORY. As usual, I counted on Google images to help me illustrate my feeling of victory (refer to the picture to your left). You may have guessed by now that I beat Pat in our 2006-2007 college football bowl game bet. I'm not sure how many of you are football fans, but for those of you who witnessed the intense game between Boise St. and Oklahoma, it is the game that determined my winning fate. Although the bowl games are not over, Pat can no longer beat me so the competition is over for us. I know this must be very disheartening for Pat. And for .2 seconds, I did feel bad for him. The look of defeat in his eyes was a little upsetting. I have to admit, the victory is a little bitter sweet for me as well. Of course winning is wonderful and that is the sweet part. Getting my room cleaned and organized is going to be really nice as well. Howe...

The 06-07 College Football Bowl Contest, Pat vs. Emily part II has begun. If you refer back to a post I made last February, you will be reminded of last year's outcome. I did in fact lose the battle and had to make Pat dinner, cookies, and stay a night in his terribly dirty house filled with seven boys. Pat's bet is quite similar to last year's. If I lose, I have to cook him dinner again with dessert. The good news for me is that he no longer lives in a dirty house with seven dirty boys to bribe me with. Therefore the bet ends with dinner. With that in mind, the stakes aren't quite as high this year which is why I couldn't get away with the same bet I made last year. I was hoping to get one more shot at spending an evening with Pat scrapbooking and watching Sex and the City, but he refused to let me pick that option. He claims it's because it's not a fair bet since my stakes are so low and his would be so high. But if you want my honest opinion, he's sc...

Exuberant. That's the word of the day. It's the word that best describes the way I feel to be done with my first semester of grad school. According to my good friend, the Merriam-Webster dictionary, exuberant means: joyously unrestrained and enthusiastic. According to my other good friend, google images, exuberant is best illustrated by the image to your left. Grades were posted tonight at midnight, marking the official end of the semester. Technically I've been done for about a week now and I couldn't figure out why I still felt stressed, as if I wasn't done. After the grades were posted tonight, I instantly felt relief. It's almost like a rite of passage, viewing the grades online to mark the end of the semester. After my previous 4 years of remaining stressed until I see my grades in writing, I've become accustomed to this symbolic act. I'm proud to say that I earned straight A's this semester. That being said, I'm not quite sure how I did i...

First and foremost, Happy (belated) Halloween! Hope everyone had a good time dressing up, passing out candy, eating too much candy, ignoring the holiday completely or whatever it is that you do. As you can see, I dressed up. Wayne's World... Party Time... Excellent. It was a lot of fun partying Wayne's World style with Pat in Cleveland. Coming back to start another week of grad school however, not so fun. Part of me feels like I'm trying too hard to live the life that I used to have; working on school during the week and working on my social life on the weekends. I keep wondering how my fellow grad student friends are keeping up with all the work? The answer is that while I'm spending my weekends with my boyfriend, a lot of them are using their weekends to catch up on all the work they weren't able to finish during the week. Even though I know that I am not utilizing my time on the weekends as wisely as others, my relationship with Pat may be the only thing keepin...

Meant to be completed by those ADULTS out of high school) Tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids? 'Have you ever kissed someone?' 'Missed someone?' 'Told someone you loved them?' 'Drank alcohol?' Here are some questions for the people who are a little more mature (or at least have smile lines)... Okay, okay... OLD FOLKS like us...... 1. What bill do you hate paying the most? Credit Card and now for the first time in my life, car insurance and medical bills. 2. What's the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Am I wrong or does anyone else think there's nothing really romantic about eating? You watch the other person get food in their teeth and worry about talking with your mouth full. I guess eating in Paris might be romantic. 3. Last time you puked from drinking? Hmm...it's been a LONG time. I don't even remember. 4. When is the last time you got drunk and danced on a bar? Our girls night last November (Mac West reunion...

If you look closely at my finger you can see his male genitalia. If you look even closer at my ring finger, you will see that I am either engaged or married as well. Wow. I have so much to tell you. Okay, okay, you caught me. That's not my finger and that's not my sister's uterus. The picture was stolen off the internet. But you get the idea. My sister is expecting a baby boy on January 27! The name is still in the works, but it's looking like it might be Cooper. And I'm going to leave the whole name topic at that. I know some of you might be expecting me to elaborate on the last name and how much I dislike it. But I'm not doing it. You can't make me. So the kid isn't going to have the greatest last name, who cares. I've taken some slack for the last name Steele and I'm sure this baby will take some slack for his last name as well. Okay, you twisted my arm. Let's discuss it. My friend Aubrey and I came up with an action-verb for the last na...

Not a big fan of Mondays and not a big fan of rainy days. Therefore today was just a blah kind of day. I spent 4 1/2 hours with Jerome again today. I keep telling Pat he has nothing to worry about but I think he's starting to get suspicious. My love affair with Jerome is neither here nor there however. Let's get down to business. On today's agenda, an update on Mark. Last Wednesday, Mark had CT scans done on his abdomen, chest, and neck. They were supposed to get all of the results that same day but unfortunately that wasn't the case. What we DO know: his abdomen and chest scans were great! We had to wait all weekend long not knowing about the neck. And of course, the longer you have to wait the more scenarios you put into your head. "Maybe they're taking so long because there's something wrong." Today Mark finally got a call about his neck scan but he didn't get to speak to the doctor. He spoke to the physician's assistant who gave him some ...

My sincere apologies, please take these flowers as a token of my regret. I have almost gone five months without an update. I just slapped myself on the wrist, twice. I could start making a list of excuses about how busy my summer was and how stressful grad school has been so far and maybe this would excuse my long absence. But instead I'll just admit that I completely forgot about my blog and my loyal readers. But fear not my friends. I'm back and ready for action. So what would you like to hear about? "How school isn't like it 'used to be' when I was an undergrad?" Would you like to hear me reminisce about the days before grad school when I actually felt smart in class and even smarter when I left class. Or maybe you would like me to compare and contrast the reasons I used to get excited for the weekends and the reasons I get excited for the weekends now. Maybe you want to hear about my experiences of teaching my first college-level course. I could tell ...

With only 11 days until graduation, stress is probably to be expected. With a to-do list longer than there are days left, I can't help but start to worry about how the heck I'm going to get everything done. I didn't realize how stressed I actually was until I got back from the library last night and my roommate said to me, "Do you have two different sandals on?" I was thinking to myself, of course not. What am I some kind of idiot? Then I looked down and saw this... Now let me clarify a few things. When I say "I went to the library," I don't mean I walked in, grabbed a few books, and walked out. I mean, I went to the library and stayed there for 3 hours. I should also add that I didn't go there and stay in one place for those 3 hours. I walked all around the entire library; saying hi to people I knew, went up to the 7th floor to get a pop, opened the pop and it sprayed all over me and started dripping [I think it may have dripped on my foot. Too...

Yes, that's right... I won the BG News NCAA March Madness Pool. What can I say? I know my sports! Sports Briefing - Sports

Well I guess I should start off with a big apology for my leave of absence. As some people have brought to my attention [Benjamin], I have neglected my blog for over a month now. Although I am "bowing my head in shame," I'm also honored that people have noticed I have been slacking because that means that they have actually been reading my blog! Even those people who don't like to admit that they care about it [Benjamin]. Now then, moving on to our next order of business... I have officially accepted the assistantship offer from BGSU's School of Communication Studies master's program. As some of you know, I also applied to BGSU's Counseling master's program. As of Monday I still hadn't heard back from the counseling program and the communication studies' program was eager to know whether or not I accepted their offer. I had to make a [quick] decision and I did. I confirmed that I did in fact accept the offer and now I just have to sign a contr...

You will have to see it to believe it! It seems my luck might be turning around as far as betting on sports goes! If you would like a chance to get some of the millions of dollars I could win, you better leave me a comment and root for Florida! :) P.S. If you're wondering what the heck I'm talking about, click on the link below. BG News

I got an email with some pictures that I thought were pretty funny. I hope they make you laugh too! I apologize for any vulgar content.