I'm always joking about the fact that my life is like a comedy routine, a Michael Scott in the Office or Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents kind of comedy where the uncomfortable jokes are usually on me. Most of the times these "jokes" take place when I'm all by myself. This morning was a perfect example. I was just finishing up getting ready for work and realized I hadn't put any lotion on yet. I wear lotion every single day and I like to rotate the scents (weird, I know).
As I was looking through my rather large collection of Bath and Bodyworks lotions and feeling like I wear the same ones all of the time, I realized there was a strawberry champagne Victoria Secret lotion that I hadn't worn in a while. Without reading the label, I picked it up and put a strip of lotion on both arms. I rubbed it in quickly and put the extra lotion on my chest, as I always do. I gave myself one last look in the mirror, not looking for perfection by any means since my hair was still wet and I definitely wasn't looking my best. As I started to walk out of the bathroom, something sparkling in the mirror caught my eye and I quickly remembered why I hadn't worn the Victoria's Secret lotion in such a long time; it is "shimmer" lotion (i.e stripper glitter lotion). I feel that there is a HUGE difference between "shimmer" and "glitter," so when I bought this lotion a few years ago, I was looking for a soft, subtle shimmer look, not a Halloween costume glitter look.
Anyway, I was panicking at this point because I looked ridiculous. No matter where I was working, I would have been embarrassed, but especially working in a Catholic High School, I was mortified. I quickly threw on a cardigan to take care of covering up my glitter covered arms, but the chest was still a huge problem. I wet a tissue and started scrubbing my chest. It wasn't coming off. I then wet a washcloth and started scrubbing and slowly but surely the glitter started coming off.
Needless to say, I was running even later than usual this morning. Perhaps dry skin would have been a better alternative to the strawberry champagne stripper lotion by Victoria Secret. One question I keep asking myself is, why am I even hanging on to this lotion? I've had it for several years and never wear it but I'm a pack rat so I convince myself that as soon as I get rid of it, I'm going to really wish I had it. You just never know when you might need to look like a stripper!